You sold 300 junk items.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You farted on four major authority figures.

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

You completed your first day in South Park.