Score a goal from the ground or your knees

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You've farted on people 100 times.

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You've spent $500.

You sold 300 junk items.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

Craft 25 syringes.