Alien Soldier - Use 4 different weapon modes in one session

Columns - Gain a high score of at least 5000 on easy

Shadow Dancer - Complete the first 2 stages without using magic

While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.

You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You've farted on animals 25 times.

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

You completed your first day in South Park.