You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You completed the game without selling any items.

You've spent $500.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.