Shoot the tractor before it crushes Emile

Raise the flag at the end of the basic training

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You befriended your father.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You sold 300 junk items.

You have joined the KKK.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.