Complete 25 Caragath Stealth Kills.

You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.

You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.

In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You've spent $500.

You befriended your father.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You've farted on every buddy in the game.