Everyone in South Park is your friend.

You collected all of the Chinpokomon.

You befriended your father.

You've farted on every buddy in the game.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

You have joined the KKK.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.