Loot 100 Biohazard items

Win while 3 Allies are downed at the end of combat

Become mutual followers with 10 people in South Park

You befriended your father.

Use a toilet and achieve the highest mastery level

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You made friends with half of South Park.

Play 1 multiplayer match as a counselor.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

Completed the "Rogue Signal" side mission.

Crafted something for the first time.

Amass your first million with the Mad Professor watching on Biolab. (Single player only)

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.