You took a little elevator ride.

You found all of your cardboard buddies.

You made every furnace cough up its fiery death goodies.

You completed the game on Normal difficulty.

Cynthia Weaver has taken you to the Well-Lit Room.

Truly, you are the master of floodgates.

Oh, so THAT'S what happened.

You have heartlessly knocked over five defenseless can pyramids.

20 Taken have been drowned, electrocuted, or dispatched by some other indirect means.

QWERTY? DVORAK? 50 Taken know it's neither.

You checked out some important messages.

You found the kidnapper, but what he had to say wasn't what you wanted to hear.

You wiped out four Taken with a single flare.