You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.

You've farted on people 100 times.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

Save yourself at the end of Extended.