You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You have joined the KKK.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

You've farted on animals 25 times.