Complete Mission 1.

Achieve a 100-hit streak.

Yaiba has a rude awakening.

You've farted on animals 25 times.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You befriended your father.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You completed your first day in South Park.