Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You've farted on animals 25 times.

You befriended your father.

You've farted on people 100 times.

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

Finished Helicopter Entry

Thrash the Goathenge