Complete all instances of Guardian Angel.

Complete Act 1 in one way.

Do your first nutshot AND testicle assault.

Complete 'Party Time'.

Complete 'When Good Heists...'.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You have joined the KKK.

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.

Completed the Main Campaign on Normal difficulty or above.