You sold 300 junk items.

You completed the game without selling any items.

You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You befriended your father.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.