You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

Make 3 jumps in a row aboard a vehicle

Buy all the apps in the App Shop

Perform a melee kill on 10 enemies anywhere in the campaign

Collect one Field Manual in the campaign

Spill 1,000 pints of blood

Jump 30 times in 1 match