You sold 300 junk items.

You've spent $500.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

You have joined the KKK.

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.