Screw someone for the first time

Listen to all commercials after one episode

Ace a DisOrDat in under 10 seconds.

Get a multiple choice question right in the last 1 second.

Laugh at an easy joke

You stole an experimental super weapon from Merryweather... and gave it back.

Score at least $30,000 above your average.

Get -$1 million on a Jack Attack.

Play a 4-player game online

Lose an online game to someone with a rating at or below Dullard.

Survive 3 minutes on at least a 3 star Wanted Level with all three characters together off mission.

Complete a song on any difficulty in split screen.

Get an "A Rank" on 20 levels.