You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You sold 300 junk items.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You've farted on every buddy in the game.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.