You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You sold 300 junk items.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You've spent $500.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.