You've farted on every buddy in the game.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

You have joined the KKK.

You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.