Obtain Lezduit.

Spend 15 hours at the very real in-game alien strip club.

Watch Globo's rise to fame.

Obtain Creature.

Obtain the Mag-Boots.

Obtain Gus.

Use Sweezy to boss around the Office Moplets.

Defeat Douglas.

Take Knifey's advice and stab Gene in the gut.

Juggle an enemy in the air with at least 5 shots.

Kill Slumsley.

Discover Petria's fate

Make a hard choice in crossing the border