You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.

Completed Chapter 5 of Episode 2.