You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.

You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You have joined the KKK.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.