You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.

You farted on four major authority figures.

You've farted on every buddy in the game.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You completed your first day in South Park.