Landed a 30-hit combo.

Quest "The Boar Hat" completed.

Do no evil

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You sold 300 junk items.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.