Restore the GREEN HILL Stage Gate.

Scare the living a few times.

While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.

You sold 300 junk items.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.