You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You befriended your father.

You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.