You've farted on people 100 times.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You've spent $500.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You have joined the KKK.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.