Unlock 10 cosmetic items from the store

Qualify from a team game with a score of 1

Qualify from your first round

Equip an uncommon or better Body Colour, Pattern, Upper and Lower Costume piece

Track down Michael and rescue him from the Terror at Monarch Studios.

Slay 25 zombies using finishing moves.

Maim 100 limbs.

Fight through the Halperin Hotel to make contact with the authorities.

Don't play The Stanley Parable for ten years.

Set all settings sliders in the menu to all the available numbers.

Click on door 430 five times.

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)

Awarded for getting any of the other trophies as your first.