Complete the game on Veteran difficulty

Make it across the floating debris without falling

Collect all DP points and ammo in the bathroom

Complete "Death, Baby"

Choose the patience option all the way through the line in the Carnival

Complete "Landed in Prison"

Heh heh, good times

Interact with all the ladies at the Shower Surprise Party room

Play WTF is Cable

Complete "Taking a Chance"

Defeat Arclight while taking no damage from her slam attacks

Set the Dialog Volume slider to zero

Make a thousand pancakes