You farted on four major authority figures.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You've farted on animals 25 times.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.

Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

You completed your first day in South Park.

Completed Unintended Consequences

Complete the game on Normal

Craft every item