Everyone in South Park is your friend.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You befriended your father.

You've farted on people 100 times.

You've farted on a dog while in gnome form.

You sold 300 junk items.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You farted on four major authority figures.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.