You made friends with half of South Park.

You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise.

You've spent $500.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You've farted on animals 25 times.

You befriended your father.

While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You sold 300 junk items.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You completed your first day in South Park.