Defeat Split Worm in under 2 minutes.

Rescue every Mudokon while finishing New 'n' Tasty in Normal mode

Turn off the gas with more than 30 seconds to spare

Kill 30 Slogs in 30 seconds

Complete the contract on the shrieker.

You completed the first mission on any level

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

You have joined the KKK.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.

Kill 3 opponents in one fight using 3 different methods (swords, bombs, crossbow, Signs, etc.).