Come 1st in every race, collect all the tokens and complete all the race objectives in the Far East Tour

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.

You've collected all of the available costumes.

Everyone in South Park is your friend.

You sold 300 junk items.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You farted on four major authority figures.