You farted on four major authority figures.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You've farted on every buddy in the game.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.