You opened all of the garages in South Park.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You have joined the KKK.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You sold 300 junk items.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

Obtain a talisman.

Acquire the rune stones.

Retrieve the royal orb.

Successfully gather intel from Bilbaron Fortress.