Everyone in South Park is your friend.

In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You've spent $500.

You befriended your father.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.

You farted on four major authority figures.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.