Everyone in South Park is your friend.

You've collected all of the available costumes.

You collected all of the Chinpokomon.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You've spent $500.

You farted on four major authority figures.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You've farted on every buddy in the game.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

Get 10 kills in a single match.

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.