You completed the game without selling any items.

Perform an emote just before coming first in a race round

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

Gain the trust of an Ocelot.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.