You sold 300 junk items.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You farted on four major authority figures.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You've farted on a dog while in gnome form.

You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.