Defend a helpless child from a drunk lunatic

Use a Summon

Become mutual followers with 10 people in South Park

You own all the weapons and costumes available in the game.

You've collected all of the available costumes.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.

You've spent $500.

You've farted on people 100 times.

You've farted on animals 25 times.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.