You befriended your father.

You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You have joined the KKK.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.